Emo

Today was a tired day.

Did you know I've never had a shoe thrown at me in anger before this weekend? Apparently that's the newest form of youthful self-expression. Kids these days. One moment I'm leaning against my car and talking to my friend Jessica, and the next an SUV comes flying by with a fat douchebro standing out of the sun roof and screaming as he hurls an article of footwear at me.

Honestly, I wish it had hit me. For the size of dent it put in my car, it was probably going pretty fast and would have hurt, but bruises heal and car panels don't. Now I get to decide if its worth paying my deductible to take a fist-sized dent out or not. Yay.

It's okay. I live across the street from a popular frat house. With luck, the idiots will accidentally park on my street one night (you better believe I'm going to be checking now) and I'll get to show them how awesome having your window broken and a sack of pee spilled all over your interior can be.

After that happened, my mood for the weekend was shot. I had started out the night in Denton in the first place with some kind of expectation that I was going to get to see Havilah, who had a date in Dallas but had told me she wanted to come see me afterward. The planning was tentative, but since we don't get to see each other a lot I ended up sticking around and hoping we'd get a chance to spend the night together.

Things went better on her date than she planned, and after a few miscommunications, I went to bed. I felt kind of stupid for the whole thing, because it made me feel wanting or greedy, like some love-sick puppy who's simpering for attention. I don't like feeling that way.

I think it also made it hard for me to hear about how great of a time she had, or to get the spotty report from shey on what happened with her night persuing an ex-lover in Austin. At least I made a good thing of it and used the opportunity to finally catch up on a bunch of sleep I was missing. Unfortunately, now that means that I'm awake at 12 AM and not tired.

I spent a lot of the day in bed (when I wasn't asleep) meditating on things, how I've let myself get too relaxed being in a school semester, even though I'm only taking one class. Wanting to start moving in some direction toward my post-graduation plans, even though they're vague as it is.

I think this week needs to be a lot of gym time, writing, applying to schools, and thinking about getting jobs. I've had my head up my ass for too long, and it's not comforting anymore.

-Sean